Alicia Lane: Why I’m Taking a Sabbatical
Like many people in corporate jobs, my schedule of back-to-back meetings dictated my days. Colorful squares and rectangles on my calendar let me know who to talk to, when, and on what subject. Skinny yellow rectangles for meetings with executives. Hot pink blocks for department meetings. Dark green rectangles indicating meetings with my team. Blue squares for “work blocks” so I could catch up on Slack messages and make presentations. And, even purple blocks for telling me it was time to eat lunch, regardless of what my stomach felt.
At first, this was really exciting because I mistook being busy as confirmation that I was doing a great job. But, it quickly became disheartening and exhausting. I tried many times to “gain control” over my calendar, yet, even with the support of an administrative assistant, it was a lost cause.
I often felt trapped and bored in this cycle. In those moments, this quote would quietly repeat itself in my mind:
“How we spend our days is of course how we spend our lives. What we do with this hour and that one is what we are doing.”
What I’ve been longing for isn’t fewer meetings (but, that would’ve been nice!), but for the freedom to let my intuition guide how I’m spending this hour and the next one.
Despite it being a great job, I’ve known for years that it was not the structure or way of being for me much longer. I wished for an inspired and perfect plan for the next part of my career to magically form. I’ve explored a handful of options to nudge that wish into reality: creating a business plan for a retreat center in the Blue Ridge mountains, taking writing classes, getting trained as a leadership coach, and interviewing for jobs at other companies.
I was excited and certain that I had discovered my next career with each of these attempts. But, the excitement faded as fear crept in. Instead of receiving guiding encouragement from my intuition, I only heard the critical voices that have grown stronger over years of working in a place that frequently activated my insecurities and feelings of not being good enough.
And, I know what I’ve been experiencing is sadly not unique. My friends often share articles about overcoming imposter syndrome, tips for managing a busy calendar, and the Great Resignation.
I know many of us are hungry for a different kind of work experience and for a healthier, energizing relationship between who we are and what we do. I’m ready to explore what that could be for me by taking a sabbatical to reconnect with my intuition.
I’m nervously excited to share about my sabbatical with anyone who wants to follow along in hopes that you’ll be inspired to find a way to take a break from your normal routine when the time is right for you. We all deserve a break and a chance to reimagine what’s possible, though it will likely look different for each of us.
In my upcoming blog posts I’ll share what I plan to do on my sabbatical to help me reconnect with my intuition, how I’m able to afford taking a break from work, and what kind of support systems I’m setting up so I don’t “waste time” or get too lonely. Until then, I’d love to hear what comes to mind when you think of taking a sabbatical.
