Alicia Lane: Taking Time
I’m sitting on a deck in the backyard at an Airbnb in Minnesota. I drove here from Richmond, Va with a detour through the Smoky mountains, watching spring go in reverse as I traveled northwest.
Less than 2 weeks ago I sat on my patio in Richmond admiring my garden with irises blooming by my kitchen door, azaleas painting the edges of my house, and dogwoods shedding their pale pink petals. And, here in Minnesota a few early blooming trees are full of sweet scented blooms and other trees are just starting to bud.
A gentle reminder that things just take the time they take.
It’s dark out now and I’m gazing over the house next door waiting for the full moon to rise above it. Wrapped in a blanket to stay warm, I’m waiting for another magical natural experience: tonight’s lunar eclipse.
I hear others chatting from their backyards as they watch, and friends and family are sending me pictures of what they can see if the eclipse in Virginia. Though we are hundreds of miles apart, we’re connecting while watching the same phenomenon unfold in the sky above us.
As I watch the moon move across the sky, its brightness fading as the source of its illumination is blocked, I’m thinking about the shifts happening in my life too.
Just about a month ago I wrapped up my last day of full-time employment and started my sabbatical. It’s been a month of letting go and grasping onto, doing and undoing, trying and stopping.
Immediately I knew I needed two things: reclaim control of my schedule and shake off the corporate jargon that had become second-nature. I banned myself from using words that I felt had lost their meaning due to overuse. I forced myself to have days of judgment-free nothingingness.
I felt so awkward at first, certain that I was doing something wrong or bad, but I’ve been settling in bit by bit. Trusting myself and this process allowed a new space to open, giving breathing room for new ideas, creative urges, new habits, and a freedom to allow myself to think differently.
Recently Brene Brown announced she’s also taking a sabbatical, and shared this quote in her announcement:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom.” —Viktor Frankl*”
In the space I’ve carved out for myself, I’ve lept towards starting and trying new things. I’ve said yes to things I couldn’t have done while working full-time. I’ve journaled nearly every morning (as part of The Artist’s Way) and jumped into action when I’ve sensed my intuition guiding me as the words pour out into my notebook.
My sabbatical energy has been channeling me towards activities that give myself and others some structure for creative expression and feeding what we deeply desire, but that feels just out of reach. So far that’s resulted in three “projects” that I’m so excited about.
The morning after I decided to leave my job, I woke up at 4am with a rush of thoughts and energy so intense I had to get out of bed and write it all down. That was the birth of Sabbatical Club, which in my greatest dreams I hope becomes a support for others who want to explore what’s possible when they clear their schedule and make space.
The next “project” was inspired by The Isolation Journals and founder Suleika Jaouad’s 100 day creative project where she’s encouraging people to take one creative act each day for 100 days. I’m writing a short essay each day about a different memory of my life so that in about 4 months, I’ll have 100 story ideas. 100 moments of my life briefly revisited with a new perspective.
And, the last “project” I’m so excited about was simply a quiet hour at my home with a few friends who are also longing to create. We each claimed a spot in my house to write or make art for one interruption-free hour. It was the space we each needed to feed our creative aspirations.
As I watch the eclipse reach its fullness and the moon take on a deep burgundy glow tonight, I’m again thinking about time and how ridiculous it is that we try to rush things. Are my three projects enough “proof” that taking a sabbatical has been worthwhile? Am I striking the right balance of freedom and structure that will help my ideas have a chance at becoming reality?
These are not the questions I want to be pondering or trying to answer, so as I so often do, I turn to Mary Oliver for help in calming these worries.
Don't Worry
Things take the time they take. Don't
worry.
How many roads did St. Augustine follow
before he became St. Augustine?
Here’s my wish for all of us this week: let go of time and all the expectations we carry around it (even if just for one quiet morning). Let things take the time they take.
